Don't Lose Faith
by BigTimeRush-BTR
Summary: His heart ached. Having her be miles away from him was hard, but knowing that there was a possibility that she'd no longer be his was what broke him. Luckily, the boys - his brothers - are there for him when he feels like he can no longer hold himself up.


**Okay, so before I say anything, I want to wish Kendall a happy 24th birthday (even though he will never see this). He is such an inspiration to me, and all I have to say is that I couldn't have chosen a better idol. :)**

**I was aiming to make this one-shot cute and bromancy and maybe funny at the end, though my sense of humor is anything but humorous... So, hopefully it's at least sweet.**

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><p><em>I cannot think straight, I cannot breathe. Not if I don't have you here next to me...<em>

Kendall sighed softly, his green eyes staring out the window with a rather unfocused and saddening look. His stomach seemed to be twisted up in knots, his heart a heavy weight on his chest. He felt the tears that burned in the back of his eyes, threatening to spill down his cheeks. For a while now he had tried to hold them back, because he didn't like to cry. He hated crying. He hated the feeling of vulnerability that came with it; the feeling of needing someone there to hold him up, to dry his tears. But most of all, he hated it because he knew that he didn't need just _anyone_ – he needed Jo. He just needed _her_.

"Jo," he choked out, gripping large chunks of dirty blond hair in between his fingers. The tears blurred his vision, no longer being able to restrain them. They flowed down his face like a waterfall, one that would eventually dry out. But would his pain vanish? No, he didn't think it ever would. It dominated his body; coursed through his veins, leaving him breathless and with no air to fill his lungs. "I can't forget. I _can't_."

"Buddy, you need to get out of the apartment."

Kendall, now aware of James' presence behind him, turned to look at him and gave him a heartbreaking look. "What?" he questioned, his voice tiny and scared. It reminded James too much of the time Kendall's father had left him and his family, leaving behind a broken 10-year-old boy to take responsibility after his actions.

"I said, you need to get out of here. Being confined in this room is doing you no good. I know it hurts, and I know it's not something you can just get over, but if you're just sitting here overthinking everything, then it is just going to destroy you."

Kendall didn't say a thing, knowing that James was right. He had been locked up in his room for four days straight, barely eating, barely sleeping. Knowing he needed his space, the boys had left him alone, Logan being the only one to come in, but only to sleep. He had tried talking to Kendall, but his attempts seemed to do no good. The younger boy had shut everybody out, including those he was extremely close to. This worried everybody, but no one had the heart to force the boy out of the room. Not when he was hurting as much as he was.

"I appreciate your concern, but... I want to be alone," the dirty blond whispered.

"_Alone?_" James asked, surprised that Kendall could be so stubborn. "You have been alone for four days now! We have given you _space_. I would really be grateful if you _listened_ for a change. I know that you're in pain, but that gives you no excuse to not talk to anybody! What the hell is-"

James' words were cut off as Kendall stood up, raised his fist, and landed a punch to the left side of James' face in one swift movement. "Fuck you."

To say James was taken aback would have been an understatement. One of the reasons being that Kendall had just punched him. Kendall had never hit him or any of the boys. He didn't like being violent, and he wasn't violent unless he needed to be. The second reason being that Kendall had just cursed, and that was something rare that Kendall did, only _and_ _only if_ he couldn't hold in his anger or frustration anymore.

"Kendall, what the hell?!"

Guilt washed over the boy, his heart dropping. Had he really just hit James? Had he really gotten that upset? From the looks of it, he had, or else James wouldn't be holding a hand to his cheek where a bruise was already starting to form.

"I... I-I-I..." Kendall stuttered, feeling faint. "I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to." The blond backed up against the wall and slid down its surface, pulling his knees up to his chest and hugging them tightly. He didn't meet James' gaze, feeling too guilty because of his actions.

Sighing, James sat down in front of him, saying Kendall's name and asking him to turn to look at him. The blond looked up with tearful eyes, guilt reflecting clearly off of them. "I'm sorry, Kendall. I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I'm just frustrated. I know you're hurting, and I'm sorry, but you need to take care of yourself. We're all worried about you, especially your mom."

Kendall nodded in understanding. "I know you all are. I just..." He choked back a sob and buried his face against his jeans. "I guess I didn't think she'd actually leave, you know? I wanted her to go... She wanted that role more than anything, so of course, I wanted her to go to New Zealand. But there's also a part of me that wanted her to disagree with me and stay. It kind of makes me wonder if she didn't care about me as much as I cared about h-her."

James looked at the blond, smiling sadly. "Come here," he said, opening his arms. Kendall scooted closer to the tall brunette and allowed him to wrap his arms around him. He tucked his head under James' chin and sighed softly, his warm breath tickling the skin on James' neck. "Why does love have to be so complicated?" he asked, staring at the floor.

"I don't know, Ken. I know that it seems that way, and at times things don't seem to be fair. But love isn't like in the movies. It _can_ be something beautiful, it can be, but just like everything else in life, it has its obstacles, its ups and downs. It is those obstacles that make it stronger, while those ups and downs shape it into something that does not compare to anything else."

Kendall knitted his eyebrows together in confusion. "What is that supposed to mean?" he asked, not quite getting the message.

"Maybe you and Jo were not meant to be. Maybe that is why she is now halfway across the world."

Kendall's face fell with sadness.

"_But_, maybe she is the one for you. What I am trying to say is to listen to your heart and not to your head. Love is hard to stumble upon, especially when it is true. It is not easy and at times it can be complicated and hard to understand. Way too many people lose faith and let go of those they once believed they loved, simply because they are afraid of getting hurt. Jo may be thousands of miles away, but distance does not tear down love when it is true and when the two people who are involved are determined and willing to make things work out. If Jo loves you, she will make an effort to make things work and so will you. Give it time and don't lose faith. It'll be alright, little bro." The tan boy then offered Kendall a smile, which for once in the last four days, Kendall returned.

"Thanks, James," he said quietly. He then stayed quiet. "James?"

"Yeah?" James asked.

"When did you figure all of that out?"

James laughed softly, ruffling Kendall's blond locks. "Kendall, it may seem like I don't take relationships seriously most of the time, but I know more than you think. And to me, that is what true love is. Loving someone unconditionally, despite their imperfections and past, and doing everything and anything you can do to protect them, make them happy, and not give up on them, even when things get hard. True love isn't as simple as finding someone you like and asking them out, it is much more complicated. It's felt by the heart, so even if you've never been in love before, you'll know when you are, you just will."

Kendall nodded, smiling, his dimples emerging on both his cheeks. "Thanks, James. I needed that."

"You're welcome."

"So now that you guys are done with all this sappy stuff... Will you finally come out, Kendall? We miss you."

Kendall stared at Carlos, who was standing in the doorway to his bedroom, Logan behind him, both of them waiting for Kendall to respond.

"Yeah, it is getting lonely here. Plus... Anywhere sounds better than laying here and staring at the wall." With that being said, the green eyed boy stood up, extending his hand for James to take and pulling him to his feet as well. "Let's go have some fun."

The two taller boys walked over to the two shorter ones, and they all gathered together in a hug.

"What a bunch of saps." Katie smirked from where she sat on the couch, finding the exchange between the four boys adorable, though she would never admit it. Kendall sent her a glare as the others laughed. Maybe things would work out in the end between him and Jo, and if they didn't, he had his three older brothers to lean on.

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><p><strong>Let me know what you thought, and thank you so much for taking the time to read this!<strong>

**~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)**


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